Perfect Timing.

This week has really been hard for me. I would be lying if I said I am happy all the time. One night Greyson cried and cried and cried. It absolutly broke my heart. I felt so helpless and honestly, hopeless. I kept telling myself that the days and the nights are long, but the years are short. (My long term sub at school told me that and it really stood out to me.) One day I didn't even get into the shower until about 10pm. He was still crying but John Thomas was trying everything he could to calm him. I sat on the side of my tub and broke down. It was my first real break down. I thought how hard it was, but how in five, ten, twenty years I would long for the days where I am holding my baby and bouncing and loving on him. I had to think of it that way, some for sanity and some just to remind myself that this will pass. It was a hard conclusion for me to come to. I felt like such an awful mom and to verbalize how I felt made me feel like I was failing.

 

Last night was a good night. He was asleep by 10:30 or so and only woke up twice to eat and went back down right after. It was good and I felt good when waking up this morning.

 

Greyson was in his crib and swaddled, without a fuss I would like to add, as I sat down on the couch to do my devotion. On Thursday mornings I go to Bible Study at church and we are currently doing a Beth Moore study.

 

 

 

The opening paragraph had me go to Psalm 127 in my Bible. I read the scripture, looked up and laughed. I opened the scripture and sent it to John Thomas at work.

 

 

John Thomas's response was the exact same as mine.

 Perfect timing.

Thank you Lord for such a good reminder when I was beginning to feel so defeated.



A New Normal

Greyson is five weeks old today. Wow. There are times where I feel like he has been here forever and there are times I feel like John Thomas and I were heading to the hospital those wee hours of the morning.

 

I am a person who loves and lives off a schedule. I think I get that from my dad. I enjoy a few days off, don't get me wrong, but after awhile I like to be in somewhat of a routine. I decided after last Friday that it was time Greyson and I got into a rountine. Afterall, he was a month and I only have a little over a month before heading back to work.

 

So, being the blog stalker of random strangers that I am, I had read about this program called Moms on Call and how it worked wonders. I read about it online and thought it sounded like something I would enjoy. I ordered the book and read it pretty much in one day. I then registered for the online course that gives a little bit more information. What I really like about it is that they tell you that if it doesn't work for you then you aren't a bad parent. I have read some things and I felt like what a loser of a parent if my child is not sleeping 10 hours the first week.

 

Greyson has been such a good baby! I can literally count on one hand how many "rough, what the heck have we got ourselves into" nights. Thank God, honestly- praise God for that! He hasn't slept the entire night and he still sleeps beside our bed in his Rockn' Play Sleeper.

 

On Monday I decided we would start our new "norm". The daytime schedule has worked great! He has really caught onto it quick. Nighttime schedule has been a little different. He DOES NOT like to be swaddled and will flip like a fish out of water in it. Two of four nights he has finally gone to sleep in his crib after about a 20-30 minute fuss. One other night resulted in me in tears wondering how I was going to make it and another night of just forget it, he's sleeping by our bed again.

 

The hardest for me has been when he wakes up anywhere from 2-3 am to eat. He eats great, but then wants to stay awake until about 4 or 5, one night 6. My only ray of sunshine during this time is 1. He's so darn cute and 2. he is not fussing, but he is not content. I am learning to torture keep him awake longer after his daytime naps to help him go right back to sleep at night.

 

I think we are finally getting in the swing of things though. Some days are harder than others, but that is the realty. I love my new normal. Would not change a thing, and that's a fact!

One Month

 Greyson - you are one month old today!  How is that even possible?  I see what they mean by it flying by - it seems like you were born last week.

  

-You are about 9 pounds 1 ounce and about 21 1/2 inches long You're a growing boy, and show no signs of slowing down anytime soon! (I think our scale is off and you weigh a little more :) )

-You are wearing a size 1 diaper..you were able to wear newborn diapers for about two and a half weeks before they were too snug on you.  You are in 3 month clothes now. There are about two newborn things you can still wear and get by with, but not much longer! I packed away all your newborn clothes this week. 

-You're eating about 4 ounces at every feeding, from our best guess.  I try to give you a bottle at least once a day, typically at night. It really confuses you when daddy gives it to you. Next week I am going to begin two bottles a day.

-You are such a good sleeper! We have only had about three nights where it has been rough. You sleep a good majority of the day. Although in the past week, your awake time has greatly increased! We were going to bed about 12 each night and we are gradually bumping it back a little bit each week. Our goal this week has been to be asleep by 10:30 or 11.  Once you are good asleep you sleep until about 3 or 4, and then back down until about 7, sometimes 8!

-You've just started really smiling in the past few days, especially after your belly is full.  Your daddy was able to see it for the time last night! 

-You have discovered the ceiling fan the past two weeks! You will just lay on the bed or on your tummy time mat and look at the fan. 

-You LOVE any type of movement! Your two favorite things are your swing and being held and bounced. If you are super fussy and crying, normally one of those two things will calm you down. 

-You are warming up to burping. The first week or two you really fought me when it was time to burp, but now it doesn't seem to bother you as much. You can let some really good ones.

-You HATE tummy time. You will lay on your tummy for a few minutes and be okay. After a few minutes you give us a good cry. You do like laying on your stomach when you are laying on top of me or daddy. When you are restless sometimes I lay you on my chest and alternate pats on back and bottom and it soothes you. 

-You are not sleeping in your crib at night. I do put you in your crib during at least two of your daytime naps. We are going to start trying you sleeping in there at night in the new couple of days. You sleep in the Rock'n Play Sleeper by our bed. 

-Your big brother is VERY protective of you! When someone other than me and daddy are holding you, he constantly goes and smells that person and checks on you. When we get home and Wally has been in his crate, the first thing he does is checks on you. He doesn't like you being in your crib or Pack N Play because he can't see you in there. You just stare at him so sweetly!

-Your eyes are a pretty blue! I love when you are bright eyed, especially in the early morning or at night after your bath. 

-You still have a head full of hair! It hasn't seemed to thin much. It stands STRAIGHT up! I love it!

-You seem to love to ride in the car (we prayed this would be the case...we are in the road a lot).

-You really like baths...but I think you enjoy the blow dryer after the best! 

Your daddy and I love you more than you know!  You've made this be the best month in both of our lives!